This year is going to be different.

2016 was quite a year. I'm glad to see it go. So, in thinking about resolutions for 2017, I had a few thoughts. 

I'm a planner. I have been planning what I wanted for my life as long as I can remember, carefully setting dates and deadlines for myself and my happiness, always carefully thought out and well-researched. 

 It's crap. Life doesn't work that way. Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." 

 So, today, I'm done over-planning, making myself sick with worry and stress, and trying to force life into the false timeline I've created. 

 I surrender to God's perfect timing and his beautiful plan (Ecc 3:11). I'm throwing out my imperfect, broken plans because they keep hurting me and making things worse. I want to be present in the gorgeous things God is doing here and now. He has provided an amazing family, a wonderful church where I am fed and convicted to change, Godly, supportive friends, an amazing work family, sweet students, a wonderful home I can open for guests and Bible studies, and a really great dog. I truly love my life, just as it is. 

 God is so good. He has provided so much already, even as I held on to my fractured plans with a death grip. He still lead me, kicking and screaming, through some hard things to this amazing place. I can pinpoint exactly how he opened doors and lead me to every job I've had, place I've lived, and most of the friends I've made. I know He is good. I know he provides the best life can offer. So, today, I surrender. He knows my heart. He knows his plans for me. He delights in me (Ps 18:19) and will give me the best life (Ps 37:4), far beyond my small, narrowly focused dreams. I look forward to finding joy in the present and not worrying about tomorrow, because He has it planned beautifully. 

Jehovah Jireh. The Lord Provides. 

I'm putting this out there so that I have witnesses. Next time you see me with a long term plan brewing in my head, bemoaning my current life situation because it would just be so much better if... smack me. Tell me to quit. Remind me that I surrendered worry because God's plans are always better than mine. Give me a hug, then maybe some pizza. I'll calm back down shortly, I promise.